Simon Halford BSc MSc Dip Psychotherapy
Dip Psychosexual therapy
Couples Therapy, Psychosexual / Sex Therapy in Central London, Southampton, and Portsmouth
I am an experienced Psychotherapist, specialising in the treatment of sexual and relationship issues using a range of approaches to meet the individual or couple's needs. I offer couples therapy, psychosexual and sex therapy in Fareham (Mon-Wed) and Central London (Thurs-Fri).
I am a COSRT accredited Psychosexual Therapist and an accredited Supervisor. I practice couples therapy and counselling at 96 Harley Street Central London and sex and psychosexual therapy in Fareham, near to Portsmouth and Southampton.
Therapy is strictly confidential, and includes psychodynamic, person centred and cognitive behavioural approaches.
I have worked in the NHS and privately for more than 20 Years and am accredited by the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) .
Typically you would have an initial assessment where mutual suitability can be established, the issue or issues you would like to work on can be discussed, as well as the frequency and number of sessions you might need. Any queries or questions you might have can also be addressed at this time. The cost of each session ranges from £60 to £150 depending on location; concessions are available.
Through counselling and therapy I aim to provide a safe environment and practical solutions for exploring and addressing sensitive sexual and relational problems for individuals and couples.
The issues I treat include erectile dysfunction, pain during intercourse, loss of libido (sexual desire), sexual addictions including Internet pornography addictions, relationship difficulties and the impact of serious illnesses including cancer, strokes and cardiovascular issues on sexual function and relationships.
Please feel free to contact me by telephone on 07984 830449. Please leave a message stating your name and number if I am not available to answer, and your call will be returned as soon as possible. Be assured that all messages are dealt with in a sensitive and strictly confidential manner.
I am able to offer couples therapy and counselling, sex therapy and psychosexual therapy in Central London, and Fareham, near to Portsmouth and Southampton.
Current News - March 2019
It always fascinates me how many people that are good at communicating about all other facets of life manage to miss each other around sexual issues. It is an area where people often have a naive belief that the other person is a mind reader, so they may say something vague but expect their partner to understand the specifics. Similarly, assumptions are often made about doing something ‘wrong’, rather than appreciating that there may have been a failure of communication.
It is truer of this area than any other that communication needs to be put in an encouraging and palatable way. For example, 'you’re too rough when you touch me' might cause the person to feel inadequate, whereas a gentler approach such as 'I like it when you touch me like this' is encouraging, positive and will produce a much better result. This kind of communication not only puts the person in charge and empowered to educate their partner but at the same time the partner feels safe because they are in a position where they can get it right.
Each couple will have their own set of communication mishaps and having a third party to pick them up and help to resolve them is useful.
Take the pressure off
People often focus on a particular facet of physical intimacy, for example, if a man has erectile dysfunction he will go into the whole process anxiously, wondering if things will work. Then, by concentrating on the thing that isn’t working, all of the good stuff - the other 95% of love making - is neglected in the process. A much better focus would be to emphasise affection, tenderness, and all the good aspects of love making by relaxing and putting the issues that are not working on the back burner for a little while. If low libido is an issue, don’t try and force yourself to be sexual but do a bit of an audit on why it might be low (tiredness, health, stress, work/life balance). It may be better to settle for affection rather than sexual contact for a little while. If you’re anxious, you’re likely to avoid affection because you don’t want it to become sexual, but if you have good boundaries in place you will be able to preserve the affectionate contact.
Don’t believe the myths
We often absorb attitudes that limit our capacity to optimise our physical intimacy with our partner. A woman may internalise a myth such as 'it’s not feminine to initiate sex' and yet sharing initiation is a crucial part of letting each other know that you are important to each other and are desired. Men may carry a myth that he is only aroused when he has an erection and will avoid initiating sex if he’s having erectile difficulty at a time when his partner may need reassurance that she is still desirable. These kinds of myths can serve as barriers to an enjoyable and fulfilling sex life so it is important to allow these attitudes and beliefs to be challenged.
Many people carry a view that these types of issues need to be resolved privately and yet an external perspective can be extremely helpful. For example, a women who suffers from vaginismus (painful intercourse) will often feel very isolated but as soon as she is able to talk to someone and realise it is a common condition it makes it much more treatable.