Simon Halford BSc MSc Dip Psychotherapy
Dip Psychosexual therapy
Couples Therapy, Psychosexual / Sex Therapy in Central London, Southampton, and Portsmouth
I am an experienced Psychotherapist, specialising in the treatment of sexual and relationship issues using a range of approaches to meet the individual or couple's needs. I offer couples therapy, psychosexual and sex therapy in Fareham (Mon-Wed) and Central London (Thurs-Fri).
I am a COSRT accredited Psychosexual Therapist and an accredited Supervisor. I practice couples therapy and counselling at 96 Harley Street Central London and sex and psychosexual therapy in Fareham, near to Portsmouth and Southampton.
Therapy is strictly confidential, and includes psychodynamic, person centred and cognitive behavioural approaches.
I have worked in the NHS and privately for more than 20 Years and am accredited by the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) .
Typically you would have an initial assessment where mutual suitability can be established, the issue or issues you would like to work on can be discussed, as well as the frequency and number of sessions you might need. Any queries or questions you might have can also be addressed at this time. The cost of each session ranges from £60 to £150 depending on location; concessions are available.
Through counselling and therapy I aim to provide a safe environment and practical solutions for exploring and addressing sensitive sexual and relational problems for individuals and couples.
The issues I treat include erectile dysfunction, pain during intercourse, loss of libido (sexual desire), sexual addictions including Internet pornography addictions, relationship difficulties and the impact of serious illnesses including cancer, strokes and cardiovascular issues on sexual function and relationships.
Please feel free to contact me by telephone on 07984 830449. Please leave a message stating your name and number if I am not available to answer, and your call will be returned as soon as possible. Be assured that all messages are dealt with in a sensitive and strictly confidential manner.
I am able to offer couples therapy and counselling, sex therapy and psychosexual therapy in Central London, and Fareham, near to Portsmouth and Southampton.
Current News - December 2019
The festive season can be a very special time when life is celebrated and time spent together with family feels special and enjoyable. It’s an opportunity to show each other generosity, warmth and affection and it can foster a sense of belonging and safety through traditions, happy memories and shared experiences.
But with elements such as tiredness, alcohol, in-laws and excited children, Christmas can feel like the perfect storm! It’s a danger zone for conflict and it can be a time when relationships are tried and tested. The idea that the Christmas season is supposed to be full of joy and happy families can also bring with it an enormous pressure and expectation. Issues and resentments may come to the surface and feelings of grief, hurt and disappointments can take us by surprise.
For couples, this time of year can present particular challenges, such as choosing who to spend Christmas Day with, or which traditions to follow. There are financial pressures to navigate too, and extra demands on time and resources. Balancing the needs and wishes of your friends and family members can feel overwhelming and leave little room for time together as a couple.
There are a few things that can be done to ease the burden and make the most of this busy season.
A whole mixture of tensions and pressures at this time of year means that people can overstretch themselves (women are particularly susceptible to this) and it can result in the person feeling too exhausted to really enjoy what is going on. Discuss with your partner what needs to be done and prioritise; talk about who can do what and how you can share the pressure in an equitable way. Grandparents will be delighted to provide dessert, for example! There is no need to try and do everything for everyone. Equally, as your children get older, they will enjoy helping out with smaller jobs such as wrapping presents for other people.
Couples often feel they have to give people a certain amount of time, but it’s good to be firm with people about the time you need for yourselves. Try to hold healthy boundaries around what you feel you can handle and what you think might be too much. Be kind but honest and firm with those placing demands on you and remember that you and your partner are allowed to make your own decisions. “We’d love to see you on this day” rather than having family round for a week, for example. This requires assertiveness and support from your partner.
In addition, try to carve out some time for you and your partner to re-connect. Go for a walk (fresh air can go a long way in helping you feel re-energised and lifted), play a game - even doing the dishes together whilst others are snoozing on the sofa or watching a film can give you a chance to talk about the day and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Christmas traditions are often very special, and early on in marriage or family life there will be expectations carried forward from each person’s family history about how these traditions will be played out. One partner can often feel disappointed that they are getting the other’s version of Christmas rather than their own. But this is an opportunity create new traditions that work for you, your partner and children. Ask each other what would feel special and establish traditions that are unique!
Make it a priority to regularly check in with your partner about how they’re doing; are they feeling stressed, overwhelmed, excited, sad? Give each other the opportunity to express whatever you’re feeling without judgment. Acknowledging that this time may be stressful or difficult for both of you and talking it over, even briefly, can go far in helping you to remember that you’re on the same team.
A common problem is one partner reporting that the other doesn’t have their back with the in-laws. They feel that their mother-in-law is taken as seriously as they are, for example, such as in relation to how children are being raised. In a healthy relationship each partner will have the other’s back.
The best thing you can do for your partner is to respect your own needs and know when it’s time to draw a line - whether it’s about staying up late, an interaction with a tricky family member, consuming alcohol, or doing too much - you are the person who is best placed to sense when you need a break. Listen to that voice within you and honour it.
Life is not perfect, people aren’t perfect, and families aren’t perfect! It’s easy to spiral into feeling inadequate, anxious or overwhelmed about things. Letting go of the expectation that everything must be perfectly happy is one way to bring balance. Try to stay in the present moment and enjoy the good bits!
At the end of the Christmas season, when we’re easing our way into the New Year, we can sometimes find ourselves feeling depressed, bereft, anxious or angry. This may stem from an encounter with a difficult family dynamic or issues with your partner that have left you feeling hurt and confused. It is these times that, with the help and support of a therapist, can offer us an opportunity for new growth and healing.